Hmmm.

Well even after the recent conversations with close friends I still don't agree with their views. I know how they feel about me. I know how they perceive me. But, obviously, single men do not view me in the same manner as they. I have lowered my standards. I have shown interest in men that I would never have been interested in before. What I don't understand is if I'm so wonderful and so pretty, why does no man want me? Why are my friends the only ones telling me these things? Why do men who are single not want someone who is pretty and nice? I know my weight is an issue for some, but there has got to be something else. It has to be something about me. I don't know what it is. I wish I did. I would change it! But for now I have to sit and wonder. I will listen to the hollow talk of how much I'm loved, but until I get it from someone who doesn't just want to be friends it will continue to be hollow talk. I hate to burst my friends' bubbles, but that's how it feels. You are blinded by your friendship with me. Ben made a good point tonight about an issue with some men is probably my refusal to bend on my sex rules. That's probably true, but it has to be something else. I just don't know what it is. If you know, please tell me. I could use some help.